Sunday, February 28, 2021

How Skiers Have Historically Celebrated Valentine’s Day

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Total Removal of Clothes

Screenshot via Vimeo (Valhalla)
Screenshot via Vimeo (Valhalla)
Screenshot via Vimeo (Valhalla)
Screenshot via Vimeo (Valhalla)
Screenshot via Vimeo (Valhalla)

Despite what some in the core, slightly paranoid, snowboarding community might think skiers are actually just flesh and bones like everyone else (I know right, it’s wild). There’s no lizard skin under our Planks jackets, no quad nipple thing going down. We’re just sacks of skin, meat, and bodily fluids like the rest of humanity. 

Over the course of human history, skiers have embraced the art of getting naked like nobody else; stripping down to their birthday suits on countless occasions. Whether it’s been for a viral park video, for a Valentine’s Day throw down in the chalet, or for a very surreal two minute nude segment in the ski film ‘Valhalla’ – skiers just love getting their kit off. 

Weather Watching

If there’s one thing skiers live for in the middle of February, it’s the studying of weather forecasts. Is snow on the way? Will there be fresh pow to enjoy this week? 13th of Feb, 14th of Feb, 15th of Feb – it makes no difference what day it is. The map must be observed, its predictions closely studied.

“Here,” they’ll say to you while refreshing the BBC Weather app for the 385th time that day, “Have this half-eaten Milka bar I found at the back of the fridge. I didn’t have time to get you a proper gift, hope that’s alright. I was studying the air pressures.”

Cooking

To be honest, we didn’t need much of an excuse to dig out this iconic video of the eternally charming, and extremely French, snowboarder Monsieur Poudreuse (not Ed Leigh in a wig).

In this episode of ‘The Mountain of Knowledge, our boy Poudreuse shows us all how to wax up our “steed” while simultaneously cooking a delicious meal. He might use a snowboard in the NSFW video example below but there’s no way skiers haven’t, in the privacy of their own kitchens, done something similar over the years. Romantic dinner for one? C’est parfait. Bon appetit.

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